Duncan Forbes
Writer and Counsellor
November 15, 2024
My Experience
My first experience of counselling was in the 80’s when my therapist would chain smoke during our sessions! There were other weird things during those sessions that really put me off counselling for a long time. When I did get counselling again, I didn’t know exactly what to expect and had another bad experience. But here’s the thing: I didn’t even know that they weren’t counselling well because I didn’t know how it was supposed to be done. Years later, after seeing a good therapist and having received counselling training, I finally understood how counselling was supposed to be done.
So, I hope I can pass this information on to others so they know what to expect if they go for counselling.
How is Counselling Done?
There are lots of different types of counselling that each have their own approaches, but in general, counselling is done in the following way:
1. The client tells the counsellor why they want counselling, and they agree on a way to work together to help the client with their problem. It’s important that the client consents to the plan of action.
2. The client talks about their problem whilst the counsellor listens.
3. The counsellor will tell the client in their own words what they are hearing, and the client will say to the counsellor if they are correct or not. This is called active listening, and makes sure that the client is properly heard and understood by the counsellor. It also helps clients to have more clarity about their thoughts and feelings.
4. The counsellor might teach the client skills to help them manage their problem. The client will feed back if these skills are helpful and if they have made any tweaks to make them fit better into their lifestyle and personality.
5. The counsellor might suggest steps to take that have helped others with the same problem. These steps will be different for different problems. It is up to the client which steps they are comfortable taking.
6. Over time, the client becomes more empowered to deal with their difficulties on their own. The client plans with their counsellor how and when to end counselling. Sometimes, a client plans a future check in with their counsellor and might even resume counselling at a later date.