At some point in my life, hiding meant survival. Avoiding connection, shutting down emotions, and withdrawing into isolation weren’t just habits—they were ways my mind and body kept me safe. But now, they are no longer serving me.
Why This Step Matters
Understanding my coping mechanisms was a crucial part of my healing journey. Before this, I was stuck in a cycle of self-blame.
❌ “What’s wrong with me?”
❌ “Why do I keep making the same mistakes?”
❌ “Why can’t I just be normal?”
I was so harsh with myself, and all this did was reinforce the very behaviors I was trying to change. The more I shamed myself, the deeper I fell into these patterns.
But as I began to understand the why behind my struggles, I started to have grace for myself. And in that grace, I found space for healing.
How important it was for me to have self-awareness and self-compassion!
Curiosity Instead of Criticism:
For example, when I didn’t want to leave the house or see a friend, I used to think:
💭 “Maybe I’m just an introvert.”
💭 “Maybe I just don’t like people.”
But instead of accepting that as fact, I started asking:
🔍 “Why do I feel unsafe right now?”
🔍 “What thoughts are going through my mind?”
🔍 “What fear is holding me back?”
And in that curiosity, I realized something:
I wasn’t just battling a psychological habit—I was battling fear.
2 Timothy 1:7 says:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
My coping mechanisms were built on fear—fear of rejection, fear of danger, fear of not being good enough. But God hadn’t given me a spirit of fear. He had given me a sound mind.
I began to see that while my brain had learned to protect me in difficult times, it was now time to renew my mind (Romans 12:2).
This is where CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) aligns with Scripture. Both teach that our thoughts shape our emotions and behaviors. The more I noticed my thoughts, the more I could challenge them. And the more I challenged them, the less power they had over me.
Breaking the Cycle of Isolation:
Because I withdrew so much, people in my life felt rejected by me. Friendships were strained. But I wasn’t rejecting them—I was unknowingly trying to protect myself.
When I started to understand myself, I could communicate this to others. And as I shared my struggles, I found more compassion and support from those around me.
God never intended for me to walk through life alone. My struggles made me want to withdraw, but true healing happens in community. The more I let people in, the more I realized that love and support were part of God’s design for me.
When Coping Becomes Harmful:
Shutting down my emotions and desires didn’t just affect my relationships—it affected my body.
➡️ Panic attacks
➡️ Sleepless nights
➡️ Dissociation
Dissociating helped me survive difficult moments in my past, but now it was trapping me in darkness. I was afraid to be myself. I had spent so much time hiding that I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
To try and bring back joy, I turned to external things—substances, distractions—anything that made me feel something. But the truth is, healing isn’t about numbing pain. It’s about facing it, understanding it, and learning new ways to move forward.
Everything I had used to cope was robbing me of life. But Jesus had called me to a life of freedom. And true freedom starts with truth—the truth about my wounds, my fears, and ultimately, the truth about God’s power to heal.
Where to Go From Here
This stage of healing isn’t about forcing change overnight. It’s about noticing. Being curious. Showing yourself compassion.
💡 New mindset: Instead of blaming myself, I can be patient with myself—just as God is patient with me.
💡 New question: How can I surrender my coping mechanisms to God and allow Him to renew my mind?
Healing isn’t about getting rid of every struggle instantly—it’s about creating space for change. And that starts with understanding.
Join me in Step 3: Learning New Ways to Cope.