Therapists have a special job—they help people deal with their struggles, pain, and confusion. But here’s a tricky question: what if therapists have their own problems? Are they all “broken” themselves?
The Question
Picture this:
- Someone notices their spouse, who is a therapist and a few therapist friends all share a similar past:
- They’ve all had tough childhoods.
- They’ve got tricky relationships with their parents.
- Oh, and they’re all still in therapy themselves.
This might make someone wonder: If therapists are still working on their own stuff, how can they help others? Is therapy just some sort of “pyramid scheme” where nobody ever fully “fixes” themselves?
It’s a fair question—but it also touches on something deeper: therapists are people, too!
Are Therapists Really “Broken”?
Short answer? Many therapists have faced their own tough times (including myself). In fact, those struggles often inspire people to get into this work in the first place. They want to understand their own challenges or help others avoid the pain they’ve been through.
But here’s the thing: being a therapist doesn’t mean you’re perfect or fully “healed.” Therapy isn’t about being flawless—it’s about growth. Therapists are on their own journeys, just like the people they help.
And actually, those personal experiences can make them better at their job. If you’ve been through hard times, you can understand someone else’s struggles much better. It’s like being a tour guide who’s already been on the bumpy road—you know how to help others navigate it.
Why Therapists Go to Therapy
You might think, Wait, therapists go to therapy, too? Yep, they do! And no, it’s not because they’re failing at life. It’s because therapy is hard work, and therapists need to make sure they’re not bringing their own baggage into someone else’s session.
Many training programmes even require therapists to have therapy themselves. Why? Because it helps them:
- Spot their own blind spots and biases.
- Make sure they’re not accidentally projecting their issues onto their clients.
- Show that therapy isn’t just something they recommend—it’s something they believe in.
Honestly, would you trust a chef who wouldn’t eat their own cooking?
My Personal Experience
When I first started working as a therapist, I’d often wonder: How can I help someone when I’m still figuring things out myself? But then I realised—that assumes there’s a magical moment when I’ll be perfect. (Spoiler: there isn’t.)
Here’s what I’ve learned: it’s hard to guide someone to a place you’ve never been. My own struggles have taught me lessons that help me connect with others. How can I truly understand pain if I’ve never been through it? Struggles aren’t flaws—they’re part of being human.
Is Therapy a “Pyramid Scheme”?
Some people think if both therapists and clients are always working on themselves, therapy must be a bit of a scam. But that’s not how it works. Therapy isn’t about solving every problem forever. It’s about progress—building tools, finding resilience, and learning to handle what life throws at you.
Life isn’t about being perfect; it’s about learning and growing. And that’s what therapy helps with.
Final Thoughts
Not every therapist has a tragic backstory, but many do. What makes them good at their jobs isn’t their past—it’s their self-awareness and willingness to grow.
Therapists aren’t superheroes; they’re humans, just like their clients. And that’s a good thing. Their struggles don’t make them weak—they make them relatable, empathetic, and better at what they do.
So, are all therapists broken? Maybe a little. But let’s be honest, who isn’t?
Written by Nadia Umwali. Nadia is a trainee counsellor with Ember Community Counselling.