It’s normal to worry that you might have problems seeing a counsellor who has different
beliefs to you. Will they try to convert you to their beliefs? Will they look down on you because you think differently to them? Can you be open with them about how much you dislike religion, or alternatively, how important your faith is to you? Can you share some of your spiritual experiences with them or will they think these are signs that something is wrong with you? I’ve had some of these concerns myself when looking for a therapist, and I’ve had friends and clients express them too.
A good counsellor will be trained to work with difference and diversity and be able to work well with clients who have different beliefs about life, the universe and religion. They will not try to persuade you to their faith position and will only explore religious and spiritual things if you want them to. I take the lead from my clients, if a client asks to talk more about their faith in sessions, then I’ll happily do that, but I won’t assume that. I also try to ignore the stereotypes of what someone believes, and instead try to learn from the client what their beliefs and values are. I respect any client’s right to believe what they want to believe, and I don’t impose my beliefs on them.
But how do you know if you have such a counsellor? There are certainly stories told of therapists who have been critical towards clients’ beliefs, but there are also counsellors who work well with clients who hold very different beliefs. For this reason, it is worth asking a potential counsellor how they work with difference and diversity when it comes to faith. Here’s some questions you could ask:
Will you be able to respect my beliefs in a non-judgmental way during our sessions?
Are you able to be curious about my individual beliefs, without being overly influenced by stereotypes you might have heard?
How will you approach us having different beliefs?Will you try to impose your beliefs on me during therapy?
Can I determine how much any of my religious or spiritual beliefs are brought into sessions?
You could even ask if they use the Churchill framework, which was developed to ‘encourage therapists of all faiths, or none, to remain open to, and respond with respect, when working with a clients’ religious/spiritual concerns, just as they would with any other issue of difference, diversity or different cultural identity.’ https://www.acc-uk.org/blog/reflection-on-the-churchill-framework/
Not all counsellors will be aware of the Churchill framework but they might still practice parts of it such as:
- Being empathetic, non-judgmental, respectful and accepting of a client’s religious/spiritual beliefs.
- Not making assumptions about a client’s beliefs.
- Not imposing the counsellor’s own beliefs and values on the client.
- If a client has any religious/spiritual concerns, a counsellor will explore these in a curious, respectful and accepting way.
- Recognising the importance of not ignoring a client’s religious/spiritual concerns.
- Recognising a client’s right to decide what they believe, and their choice whether to explore their faith/spirituality during therapy.
- Assessing any links between religious/spiritual difficulties and the mind.
- Learning from the client what their values and practices are.
- Helping clients explore which beliefs are helpful or unhelpful to their mental health.
https://www.acc-uk.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/The-Churchill-Framework.pdf
With all this in mind, it can work well to have a therapist who has a different faith to yourself, if that therapist is respectful towards your position, respects your choices, and follows your lead about if you want to talk about faith/spirituality in sessions. It might even be that a therapist of a different faith will be more understanding and respectful of your faith because they understand first-hand how important faith can be to a person.
By Duncan Forbes